Mmmmm..whatcha say .

2010 / 20-10 / twenty ten : is JUST AROUND THE CORNER
I am ..
uncomfortable
sore
unwell
etc..etc..rant..rant..rant..

I am forced to be seated for long periods of time or just stand in one spot (in other words, minimal movement) or else i'll be in pain.
it sucks. i hate it.

BUT.. I'm just trying to make the most of the situation.
by ..
-blogging
-pathetic attempts to paint
-reading (first time since uni ended about 2 months ago!!)
-sketching
-consuming...... (food + drink.. + goods..)
- playing guitar
- singing

TO FEEL HAPPY IS EASY + SIMPLE :)
im sure i'll get well soon

FRANK / BACK TO BLACK

SUPER happy about Amy Winehouse : 4 Disc / Deluxe Box set !

Frank / Back To Black
presented in a hard-back book-style sleeve complete with a 24-page booklet.

one thing.. pretty gutted 'Valarie'- radio play version isn't included, but that's okay :)

THANK YOU

THE DISTANCE

FOR 2009 ..

MUCH LOVE AND THANKS TO
SKYPE

& VODAFONE NETWORK

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

♥

DON'T STRAY.

I'M IN LOVE WITH EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SONG.
ENJOY ♥

Don't stray, don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don't let me drown, let me down
I say it's all because of you
And here I go, losing my control
I'm practicing your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time to tell you why
I say it's infinitely true

Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you

And there's no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon

It's all because of you
It's all because of you

.FAKE.

Browsing through flickr.com and user..

" .F A K E. "

makes me want to stencil + spray

check his stuff out . http://www.flickr.com/photos/lype/

IN NEED FOR 180

I just came to realise that one of my BIGGEST weaknesses is my way to ..
HOLD
GRUDGES.

I am terrible.

Even something as small as seeing a photo of someone that has disappointed me in the past, or made me angry or sad (basically anyone that has left a negative vibe in me)
my grudge against them seems to come flowing back into my system?

New Year's resolution: getting rid of such grudges that need to disappear.

& I LOOK ACROSS THE WATER .

one of my favourite voices to listen to.

RIX + KA.DEEPS

best
week
ever.

It's so hard for me to describe just how sad I am to see him go.. again.
But.. I'm so happy for every single second i got to spend with him and his close ones.

Feels amazing to have made some solid memories with him.
It's a beautiful thing.

HEY. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW NA NA

I've haven't been this happy in a
long
long
long
TIME .

IF YOU'RE GOING TO PROMISE ME ANYTHING

SAVE

THE

LAST

DANCE

FOR

ME .


uni + all the bullshit that comes with it is all over and done with for 2009. I just need to do a few more things before life itself actually starts. I have to surrender myself to a summer job to support my sad self, and then award myself for slaving away during my pathetic free time.
Get money + spend money = story of our lives.
I HATE WINDOW SHOPPING: when I'm fully low on funds, because when i do get funds.. I am left with NOTHING or even better.. I'm left in the NEGATIVE zone. someone teach me some discipline. now.

Putting that to the side...
I've been standing at the crossroads where emotion meets reality this whole year.
I know which road I should be walking down.. but emotion always gets the best of me. fuck it. i need my damn warrior face on !! where the hell is it !!

THROWBACK STUFF

I miss being a kid in the 90s when we had some ULTIMATE fads.
fad = A phenomenon that becomes popular for a very very very short time
I have this serious feeling that now the 90s have come and gone, there just isn't much of a craze with many fads anymore? hmm.. WHATEVERRRRRR
I just know some of us grew up with some wicked ones .

My personal favourites :

Pogs Also known as "Caps": The Pog craze got me REAL bad when I was about 5 ?? I even entered a tournament for it at the mall because I thought I was that good.. yeah. I sucked.


The Tamagotchi : I had quite a number of these during the time they were hot on the market! Mine kept dying becasue I'd forget to clean up their poo :( stink. I couldn't even take care of a virtual pet.

Polly Pocket : And NO .. I am not talking about the huge ones with the plastic clothes you dress them up with. I'm talking about the ORIGINAL Polly Pocket. The one where a wonderful world would be right there in your palm when you would open up the Pocket sized case and inside you would find minituare polly pocketsto play with and you would be entertained for hours ! (I even owned that star shaped one in the middle!)


Marbles: This fad was intense during primary years. We used to have marble competitions held by the school because they were THAT intense. I remember getting into a serious fight with my friend when I was 6 when I thought we were playing for keeps! THEN she didn't even give me her marbles when I won :( haha oh how cut was I !!

MY FOUR LINE VENT .

tiger lily in bloom
http://thegypsybutterfly2.blogspot.com/2008/08/tiger-lilies.html

All have given into the man on the left too many times.

I try to push mine under the mat, but I still fail to hide what is fiction.

Over thought and over played in my mind every night.

One day I will grow into something real. That is my one and only conviction.

blah blah blah. my four line vent is now over.
good night x sweetdreams

AN EXCUSE TO GO OUT

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween
history of halloween : more typically linked to the Celtic festival of Samhain or Samuin, The name is derived from Old Irish and means roughly "summer's end".
The festival of Samhain celebrates the end of the "lighter half" of the year and the beginning if the "darker half", and is sometimes regarded as the "Celtic New Year".
The celebration has some elements of a festival of the dead. The ancient Celts believed that the border between this world and the Otherworld became thin on Samhain, allowing spirits (both harmless and harmful) to pass through. The family's ancestors were honoured and invited home whilst harmful spirits were warded off. It is believed that the need to ward off harmful spirits led to the wearing of costumes and masks. Their purpose was to disguise oneself as a harmful spirit and thus avoid harm.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After going out last night (using Halloween as an excuse) i got curious to just know even the tiniest bit as to where Halloween came from. So, now that's out of the way.
We decided to dress as "shadows". awesome :) another excuse for me to wear all black.

WANTS & NEEDS

Look at the link my friend sent me ..
http://thingsthatlooklikeotherthings.tumblr.com/

wouldn't you much rather marvel at these creations all day, than falling asleep at every attempt
to prepare for exams? I CALL THIS MY STUDY BREAK .

Wouldn't it be cool to have your whole house/room to be filled with all these "things that look like other things" These are just some of my favourites :)

coat hanger that looks like dripping paint

pillow that looks like a fortune cookie

bar of soap that looks like an iPhone


plates that look like cartoon speech bubbles




clock that looks like a roll of film

IF I COULD DEDICATE YOU A SONG

Livvi Franc? totally digging her song

"Now I'm That B*tch"

She's total bad-ass in this song and I love it.

I'm fully giving this song shout-outs to all my girls that ever got dissed / rejected / kicked to the curb

by punk-ass SCRUBS .

THIS SONG WILL FULLY MOTIVATE YOU

TO GO HARDER

AT WHATEVER

YOU'RE ALREADY GOING HARD AT.

one line used in the song to sum it all up :

"YOU WERE TOO FLY THEN. SO FLY AWAY NOW."

this song is worth your repeat button. check it out .

UNTITLED STAGE

I have a huge love for DRAKE and my friend got me to listen to a short (but sweet) song done by DRAKE called "SOMETHING".

It's really nice to listen to, especially if you're in that stage with someone when things are still untitled and you're hesitating or wanting to go forward with someone. Check it out.

Fallin' too fast

Clearly rules don't apply

Can't believe that I just met you

You got me here

Watching minutes past by

Wondering when to express you

There you go

Is this a dream

Looking like every picture

That I seen of you before

I've seen it all before

Now that it's over. I shoulda known better

When you think this is real and

You could be mine

I should have known better

Slowed it down cause I feel

You needed time

But I kept thinking

This could be something

Maybe it's just nothing at all

But this could be something

This could be something

Maybe it's just nothing at all

I guess it's what we make it

MUST DO

I have whipped up a to-do list to make my life easier right now..

1) Clean up and tidy my messy room. A room resembles one's life.

2) Cry. Just have a long hard cry and stop holding it in.

3) Start my assignment. Starting is the hardest bit. So just get on with it.

4) Stop being scared of the dark and stop going to bed when the sun has risen

5) Chill with the love songs man.. just play something else for a while.

6) Fold my washing

7) Re paint my nails- but this time stay away from the usual muted colour. Wear a bright shade

8) Fill in my flat bond form with Hayley

9) Eat something .

10) Stop torturing myself with "what if's" and "maybe" or the "shoulda woulda coulda's"

10 things.

10 things to make my little steps go forward and avoiding taking 5 steps BACK .

Because when it all falls down, who you gon' call ? - just some words from Kanye

DOWNTIME JABBER

I WANT TO FEEL LIKE A SUPERWOMAN

SO I CAN DO ANYTHING & EVERYTHING ..

WHILE STILL LOOKING GOOD DOING IT

& KEEPING ON A GIGANTIC SMILE NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION IS.

Just winding down after eating a CHICKEN CARBONARA PIE *DROOL*

and a few hours of what people here call "clubbing".

It can get so gross man .. and you only seem to notice when you finally put the drink down and you take a closer look at what is going on.

Clubbing (club.bing) : verb : Sweaty arse people all packed into a room,
with sh*t all ventilation dancing off beat to blaring music. awesome.

Nah, to be honest, I'm really just being a hater right now because ....

[enter life story.....]

There was this chick who kept using me as some sort of back support ??

Drink in hand and leaning on me like she didn't have a spine of her own

.

She then turned around stumbling and accidentally kicking me in the shins..

It was okay the first time, but her doing it three times kind of pushed it for me.

So.. Me being the anger management kiddo that I am

She made me reeeal cross at this point, so i tried sprinkling some of my fairy dust bullsh*t on her to try and stop her from annoying me more .. coz that neeever goes down well ...

THEN.. Dont you hate it when out of the blue.. ANOTHER overly drunk "stud" tries to step in and act as the heroic one and then aims to sort everyone out ?

Please. Just. Get. Away. From. Me.

How about seeing a chick in the EXACT same outfit put together like mine from months ago?

bleh. reehh. yeerp. . doesn't matter because it was done first - right here.

Me when it was July 2009 @ Dawn's 21st.

Well, Besides this 30 second must-be-there event,

it was an okay-quite-average-manageable night.

RANT RANT RANT.

GOOD NIGHT =]

MISS EHSANI

woke up hung . finally got my lazy self up at 2.30pm . ate tasteless mac 'n' cheese for dinner from the dining hall .went to the BOP vs TURBO'S rugby game at night . came home early . took the longest shower & then covered myself in body butter. yum. watched fast & the furious : Tokyo Drift. currently watching bad boys . i want melody ehsani earrings. i think melody ehsani is amazing . not much to my day today really .

http://www.karmaloop.com

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/

The two ladies i'd love to meet one day.

Rihanna + Melody Ehsani

ON THE REEEEAL

Straight up.Things have turned pretty much 180* in the span of about 2 days.

But it's amazing what talking and letting things out by crying does to help.

I really miss him man. Straight up.

And all this is messing up my sleeping once more, when I was already slowly getting my life sorted again.

Although circumstances call for stressful and moody bitch times.. I somehow feel sort of relaxed? maybe not so relaxed .. but more at peace?

Nah, I'm fully telling fibs. Virtually impossible to feel that way 97% of the time. I actually I only ever feel that way when I'm blocking everything out.

Hmm.. I miss our old memories but looking forward to making new memories completely

overtook my mind.

ch-ch-check this out . An old drawing I did .

Enough of that.

My room is actually ridiculously cluttered / messy / dis-organised

it's absolutely CHAOTIC . man.. all this is telling me is that I need to sort my sh*t out ! haha

See you when I get there .

11.36 PM

Little trial for tomorrow's dress-up party.

OCCASION : Tawa Hall Massey University's End of Year Partaaaay

THEME : Dress up "I WISH I WAS A . . . . "

WHEN: 15th October

I'm going as a . . . .. CHOLA . hahah this is gonna be fun . Teased big hair with a bandanna going around my head. Red lip liner, thin as drawn on eye brows, big gold hoops, white wife beater, beige baggys, got my chucks on too hehehe

here's my trial look :

CRANKIN' THE CRAIGY

4 words to describe what I'm feeling?

1)KICKED

2)IN

3)THE

4)STOMACH

"I'm walking away .. to find a better day.. "

PEACE . Enjoy the day.

LAZY SUNDAY

Had an "N" themed party for Nicole's 19th last night. It was heaps fun and I can say we pretty much all had a very enjoyable night free of drama and all that kind of stuff that comes with a Saturday night.

Nights like that help me get over the fact at how this place can be such a hole .

I had absolutely no idea what to dress up as .. I found my bunny ears + tail set so I went as a "N"aughty Bunny ? Yeeeerp.. how lame I know. My creative juices weren't exactly

flowing were they....

"N"emo + "N"aughty bunny + "N"eon + "N"ightee

What a sweet song

// D'Angelo : I found my smile again

PIECES OF ME

Woke up at around 2pm and it felt amazing

Turned the T.V on and and this random arse show "GRΣΣK" was on ..

never seen it never even heard of it.

I started watching it to put my Psychology 101 assignment off for even longer,

and an issue that was raised was

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS .

how convinient .

Yesterday night .. My beautiful girlfriends Hannah and Kelsea came knocking on my door and dropped off a little surprise gift :)

Cuddly cuddly cuddly soft toy for me to hug at night and my favourite chocolate to keep things

s w e e t <3

because I can't wait for Tipo to finally come back home . xxo

My new way to get to sleep // SLEEPING EYE MASK:

1) it works woooonders

2) i got it free from Royal Brunei Airways hehehe

OKEY DOKEY .

Really doubt i'll be going out tonight.. my final psych 101 assignment needs to be done by Monday !

I haven't even looked at the question . Wish me luck xxo

SUPERHUMAN

I deleted my old blog posts and thought I'd start my blog fresh over,

from scratch, from nothing ..

back to square one sort of business. Another one of my

quick + snappy decisions ?? UH HUH.

WELL, I'm pretty much too tired, completely submerged in uni work and

stuck in the *shrug it off* mood

to give two flying f*cks about much really aye ..

anywhoooos .. It's been a week since I have slept at NIGHT,

in the beautiful hours of the NIGHT .

...when the rest of the population of New Zealand does.

Sad thing is.. Really..

I couldn't even give you ONE

productive example of a task I have accomplished during these sleepless nights.

I'm telling you .. I look at the time and it's about 1:30am,

that's pretty decent for me ..

then before I know it I swear someone has TRICKED ME

because then the time says it's something whack like 6:30am !? TIME FOR CAFFEINE FIX :)

Before I know it .. the bloody sun has risen.

Moving right along from my insomniac rants..

DUDE. Tonight, I just had a random obsession with

SUPERHEROES

SUPERHEROES

SUPERHEROES.. and anything to do with them hehe

I put on my Spider Man DVDs,

Got all into it and even gave in to my google.com abusive side ...

dude. talk about SPARE TIME . shit son..but i love it <3

Just the whole idea and concept of a masked hero,

sweeping a girl off her feet, saving the day, heroic kind of thing got me all in

superhero mode .

a girl can dream .... haha.

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT .