anger fills me up when i watch this video clip.

bleeding love - leona lewis.

one foot out .

one foot in .

my favourite song.

This song is one of my most favourite songs.

Reminds me of my dad and him teaching me guitar when I was younger and the sort of music I used to listen with him in the car.
It also reminds of a situation.. where you wanna walk away from someone. but something is keeping you there because you love them so damn much.

A song about a man who wants to leave this woman because their relationship is strained, but something about his woman makes him stay.. and he doesn't know what it is.

"Girl, I get lonely, too
You don't have to worry
Just hold on tight
(don't get caught in your little world)
'Cause I love you
Nothing's wrong as far as I can see
We make it harder than it has to be
and I can't tell you why.. "

exams and mid year papers can ...

F*CK OFF. RIGHT NOW.

See we men can't take another man pleasin' our woman

"maybe i deserve..."
maybe you do. but i ain't like that.



do you mind if I tell the truth for a second ya'll

Maybe I deserve,
to wonder who's callin so damn late
for you to say I'm trippin,
just a homie from up-state
Don't he know, it's one o'clock in the mornin'?
Say it's cool, baby it's cool

Maybe I deserve,
For you to say he's comin into town
and he was just wonderin' if you and him could hang out
I don't like it.
but I know I gotta trust you
It ain't cool, 'cuz I know it's true

Maybe I deserve
for you to go out and find some other guy
maybe I deserve
for you to stay out with him all night
maybe I deserve
for you to do all the things I did to you
Maybe I deserve
maybe I deserve

Maybe I deserve
for you to put on, a sexy dress
for me to ask you, who the hell you tryna impress
for you to laugh it off, like it ain't nothin'
I know it's it's somethin, maybe
Maybe I deserve
to sit at home and wonder where you are
is he kissin' you, touchin' you, holdin' you, what
to take a drink and help ease my mind
i wanna be mad after all those times

Maybe I deserve
for me to ask you, where you been
Maybe I deserve
for you to say I betta stop trippin
Maybe I deserve
To grab yo neck, until you let me know
Maybe I deserve
for you to run cryin', cryin' out the door
Maybe I deserve
to grab my coat and chase you down the street
Maybe I deserve
to say it's not you, it's my own insecurities
Maybe I deserve
for you to say, yes I cheated on you
Maybe I deserve
I won't care 'cuz after all I put you through
maybe I deserve
to be mistreated sometimes
Maybe I deserve
to even be lied to sometimes
Maybe I deserve
maybe you should go cheat on me
Maybe I deserve

Maybe I should sit and wait by the phone
Maybe I deserve
'cuz I done paged you about three or four times
Maybe I deserve
girl I know, girl I know I done put you through it baby
(put you through hell)
Maybe I deserve
wanna know can I, can I know can I maybe I deserve

See we men can't take
another man pleasin' our woman
we can't even stand waitin by the phone
but we do the same shit
oh damn, oh damn, oh damn
I know I deserve it

what can come from love .

"Betrayal can only happen if you love."
-- John Le Carre

you won't feel the pain of betrayal

if you never loved them in the first place.

trey songz . one love

"Honey, let me break it down
See, we livin in a lonely world
Aint you tired of the runnin round?
Don't you wanna be my only girl?
Baby can I be the one you call?
When you're tired of the lies
And the truth is all you wanna hear..."

what the picture says .

mister ireland.

the perfect man.

women may be asked what their perfect guy would be ...

most women would say typical boring shyte like..

loyal funny strong passionate ambitious caring spontaneous nice sensitive safe

blah

blah

blah ...

but after thinking about it. all these traits seem to contradict each other in some way or the other..

a woman may want a man to be strong and uphold a manly persona

while also being caring and compassionate.

then at other times women want their man to be spontaneous and funny

while also wanting their 'perfect man' to be safe or predictable.

thinking it over...
there's no such thing as THE PERFECT GUY that has perfected all these traits women want..

but more of the idea that women want a man with PERFECT PERCEPTION
all the skills / traits I have mentioned are all important, but the key to the perfect guy isn't that he's mastered every single one of these skills a women desires but that he has the perception and that skill to know when it's the best time to unleash the PERFECT trait for a particular situation.

the timing... the perception.. = important.
well. that's just what I think :)

f*ck i'm bored. better get ready for work.

Lover Girl by Kolohe Kai

MAD FOR YOU. MAD AT YOU.

You love me like words can't explain
For me to feel the same is all you want to gain
You never claim that the dollars made me change
But the models giving brain
I guess that could f*** with your brain

Hurt your heart in the worst way
Never should have let you fall in the first place
But you've fallen, put your all in
Now you're so high off love you don't wanna get down

Most nights she aint asleep
Worried where I might or I might not be
She's for the life for me
Man what a life I lead

You kept me on this pedestal
No matter how much I let you down
With all my infidelities
You loved me so incredibly
Inside I'll fall apart
If you ever love someone instead of me
So you deserve a better man instead of me

Clock won't stop ( tick, tock )
Her love is going, going, going- by the minute
Going, going, going- she keep giving

But I know she can't take it
Still her heart I keep breaking
So Ima let love go
Cause I don't deserve her love no more

Sad story
She mad for me
And mad at me
Sad that we
Can't exude love
Not a true love
Cause it's all screwed up.
.................

yea, narr..

I'm probably one of the few people you'll meet that just doesn't believe in

KARMA.

Trying to understand that whole idea of doing a bad deed, then being punished for it in another form in a future situation really doesn't do it for me.
If I did something bad to someone, and then later on something bad happened to me.. well that's life. Bad things happen. Shit happens. Not because you're paying for what you've done in your past?? The whole concept of karma just doesn't do it for me.

A person's actions determines their future - Of course I believe that. The situations we find ourselves in today stem off our decisions we've made in the past.
BUT I don't believe in the concept of Karma and that a person's actions will bring them good or bad fortune.
good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people and vice versa.

People do good. People do bad. People seek revenge. People forgive. There's tough luck but then there's also a blessed day around the corner. It's life.

But everything still keeps me up at night.

If I'm complaining about something to you? well then, good. it's a good thing. That means I actually still give a shit and still think things are worthwhile to complain about.

The day I sit back in silence. Will be the day I finally put my back against the ropes and just..

GIVE

UP.

females and their broken hearts and emotional baggage.

I LOVE E.BADU.

A song telling women to let go of their baggage.
Admitting that you're hurt, then thinking about it, then crying about it, and then eventually moving on from it is a way to not become this bag lady she speaks of.
Finding a way to drop the anger, resentment, sadness and heartbreak associated with the bags we carry around will stop us from being weighed down and not missing "the bus", or happiness.
This song speaks to all women. All ages, all paths of life, all social classses.

"So, where my garbage bag lady
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go
What about the grocery bag lady
Betcha love can make it better
I'm talkin' to my Gucci bag lady
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go
What about my paper sack lady
Betcha love can make it better
What about my nickle bag lady
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go"

Let it go. let it go, let it go ...

Common ft. Bilal & John Legend

"...It's hard when your lady don't believe what you say
And what you did in the past you gotta live with today.
She asked if they could spend the night together
He thought, and said, "I'm tryin' to get my life together"
Went home to his lady, these were his confessions
"Baby you a blessin' and my best friend" ...."

- COMMON - 'FAITHFUL'

HIPSTERS WHO HATE OTHER HIPSTERS FOR BEING HIPSTERS

This idea and hype over "hipsters" really interests me.

It's funny how people labeled as "hipsters" are

a) individualistic

b) are counter culture
c) not mainstream

but after all they stand for.. labels or labeling a certain type of group results in cohesion. Cohesion what these individualists fight against.

They have made a culture of people who are counter-culture. How ironic is that?
Calling it "hipster culture" makes it culture of people who are "counter culture"

The hype of "hipsters" has really defied their purpose.

Lets be honest.

The label "hipster" itself has led to generalizing each person who fits the mould some how and I'm pretty sure labeling or being grouped together definitely goes against it all.

THIS HYPE.

http://www.formspring.me/rixrico

I'm nosey. Really nosey.
Had to see what the fuss was about?
It's all anonymous so people can ask what the hell they want really?

TWO WORDS : Quite boring .
the end xx good night

HAPPY BOOK .

"I once had a journal. but it was no longer a journal..

turned into more like... a hate book."

- anonymous

very vague but i love to daydream .

2010 : second year BSW
2011 : third year BSW - 2 month placement work
2012 : fourth and LAST year of BSW - potential amazing placement with the so-called full time job offer.
Save up for a bit while working. Grab a bit of useful experience

2014 : do postgraduate study for specialising. Potential choice?
do my Masters in Couple and Family therapy at UNSW (University of New South Wales)
http://www.arts.unsw.edu.au/programs/master-of-couple-and-family-therapy-8931-16.html

THIS WOULD BE MY DREAM POST GRAD TO DO.
NEW ZEALAND NEEDS TO WAKE UP IN SPECIALISING IN THIS FIELD . grrrrrr

TRUTH

11:51pmMe

if this laptop had a heart.. it could potentially be my lover and best friend

hahahaha

or my therapist

it acts like a therapist... coz therapists are actually waiting for you to come up with your own answers .

STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE .

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man
wishing he could whisper softly in her ear...

While you HUMILIATE,OFFEND and INSULT her,
there's a man flirting with her and reminding her how wonderful she is.

While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could make love to her.

While you make your woman CRY there's
a man stealing smiles from her...

this works xx

meaning? MY DREAM

FROGS :
- To see a frog in your dream, represents a potential for change or something unexpected.
- It indicates change or transformation.
- Making progress in ways that don't appear to move directly towards a goal, such as through trial and error

- May represent expecting somebody to change according to your needs than accepting them for what they are

MOUSE :
- To see a mouse in your dream, indicates fear, meekness, insignificance and a lack of assertiveness. You are experiencing feelings of inadequacy and fears that you are not measuring up. The dream may also be telling you that you are spending too much time hiding in the shadows. Alternatively, it may symbolize minor irritations and annoyances.

interessstiinnngggg....

baby don't worry you know that you got meeee..

"is you crazy?? you're my king fo'real.
but sometimes relationships get ill.

no doubt."

CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW :)

TONIGHT: sleep at midnight and not a minute later (drastic change to what I'm usually like!!)

TOMORROW:

1) Wake up and txt my pup to say good morning xx
2) let's be realistic.. I'm gonna log onto facebook.com
3) eat something? then shower.. hair.. makeup..blah blah
4) CLEAN MY ROOM !! YAY !! now that I've handed in a bulk of my assignments I can focus on sorting my shit in my room. have a sense of order in my room / life.
This will involve... dusting and wiping for fucks sake. Sorting out my jewelry box, make up chest, wardrobe, desk.. etc.
5) organise the organiser.

SWEET DREAMS XX

save me. i've had enough.

I COULD SKETCH YOUR FACE FOR DAYS.

my favourite person in the whole wide world .

INSTEAD OF SLEEP .

People wonder what the hell I get up to during the hours of the night when everyone else in the world is asleep, and I'm still buzzing wide awake.

I can't seem to pin-point exactly the reasons why I have the SHITTIEST sleeping patterns but still seem to get pretty average grades. I definitely know there's something wrong or I'm trying to avoid something .. hmm.. i don't know. 7am creeps up on me so fast sometimes..

The question is.. what do I do to fill in my time?

EASY.

1) read and search new blogs: Through all the hours of sleepless nights I've managed to find some awesome blogs and writers that easily fill up my time.

http://www.bryanboy.com/ : always fabulous .
http://collegecandy.com/blog-view/ : always something new to read!

http://drebomb.blogspot.com/ : awesome chick + awesome blog
http://taniannette.blogspot.com/ : interesting blogger with awesome thoughts for the day.
http://tumblr.9gag.com/ : all visual . one of my favourites :)

2) facebook !!: home.. profile.. home.. profile.. home.. stalk her page.. profile... stalk his page.. home.. profile.. join a group.. go through a randoms photo album..home..profile.. need I say more?

3) doing my nails : This . is . therapeutic . for .me . I love painting my nails when I feel stressed or anything of the sort. So bloody relaxing and living in a house of 6girls there's always a new shade to try woohooo

4) series : Through impulse buying, I purchased The O.C, Season 1 for MEGA CHEAP. This 7 disc package of heaven honestly keeps me entertained... even when I know EXACTLY what's going to happen next. never gets old.

5) fold my clothes: or just the general cleaning really?

6) youtube.com : probably one of my most favourite past time activities to be honest. there's ALWAYS something to watch.

7) email: I send him emails when I'm bored. He wakes up to them. all good :)

man... I better leave this. I'm kind of hungry.
have a nice night xx

EACH AND EVERY DAY .

I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

D I G G Y

EPITOME OF BEAUTY AND CLASS

"why dont you love me? when I make me so damn easy to love?"

it's like.. trying too hard won't get your man to love you any more than he does. you can't force that out of someone. Being too available will get you no where. Even when you think he'll appreciate it.

BEST I EVER HAD .

You be up on everything, other hoes ain't never on it
I want this forever, I swear I can spend whatever on it.

MAPS = M.A.P.S

Pack up

Don't stray

Oh, say say say

Oh, say say say

Wait! they don't love you like i love you

Wait! they won't love you like i love you

Ma-a-a-aps, wait!

They don't love you like i love you...

Wait! they won't love you like i love you

Ma-a-a-aps, wait!

They don't love you like i love you...

RECESSIONISTA TIPS: reblogged from www.collegefashion.net

http://www.collegefashion.net/college-life/from-collegecandy-ten-gen-y-recessionista-tips/

From CollegeCandy: Ten Gen-Y Recessionista Tips

Here are the top 10 ways to be a savvy spender and super recessionista.

10. Keep track of your spending.
Do you know how much you spent all day yesterday, to the dime? Well, you should. Keeping on top of every little expense can save you cash in the future and keep you mindful of where your cashflow is going.

9. If you can’t indulge, don’t indulge.
I’m not saying to give up every indulgence, but if you’re about to spend $200 that you don’t have on a dress, either wait for it to go on sale or just walk away. The dress will always be there, so wait ’til the cash is.

8. PAY IT OFF.
If my dad is reading this right now, he’s falling out of his office chair laughing hysterically. It took me a year to pay off my credit card balance and you know what? The only way I could do it was to mail my credit card home and never, ever have it on hand. I’m sure there are people out there who can manage their money and understand that when you receive a credit card bill, you must pay it off every month. I was not one of those people. Fees, charges and overdrafts all affect your credit score and your finances. If you can’t handle it, don’t have it. If you can, pay it off every. single. month.

7. Write down your debt in a place you’ll see it.
Paint it on your wall. Write it on your fridge. If you owe 50k in student loans, THINK ABOUT IT every time you spend money. Sure, buying shots for all your friends might seem like a great idea at the time, but that seventy dollars could be going to your loan payments. Do you really want to worry about student loans when you’re ready to take out a mortgage on a house?

6. Cut back on the frills.
I love caramel frappucinos, fancy makeup and high-end jeans. But, if I skip the Starbucks and hit the office coffee machine, ditch Sephora for CVS and pass up Saks for the Gap, even just for 30 days, I’ll save over $400 a month. Trust me, no frapp is yummier than that.

5. Plan, plan, plan.
Okay, so you want to go on vacation in two months? Plan all your expenses ahead of time. Flight, hotel, bathing suit, meals, drinks, etc. Once you lay out a budget and know how much you need to set aside, it will keep you saving.

Want more money-saving tips? Read the rest of this post at CollegeCandy!

Posted on on May 2, 2010 / Filed Under: College Life / Tags: CollegeCandy, Money

http://www.opi.com/

w a n t . t h e s e . n o w

Heart & Tarts (Garden Collection)

Chapel of Love

Hot & Spicy

Jade is the New Black

Black Onyx

Yes.. I Can-Can

LOVE SONG.

"what you gonna do when somebody convinces me to believe that he can do it better?

sending me gifts

and showing me the ROMANCE

all this, this and that.....

CAN YOU DO BETTER?

all I'm saying is ... love is what I'm looking for

if you wanna keep me? baby gotta love me more.

if you really want me.

like you say you want me...."

http://janice-m.xanga.com/

I have the HUGEST girl crush on Janice Man .

SHE IS SO GORGEOUS.

(*She makes me want to inject a little more femininity in my everyday life!)